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June 2, 2005

More Red Tape!

From Michelle, yet again battling Red Tape in Rotterdam...

Before I tell you my latest little tale of red-tape disaster, here's an exciting (well to me, at any rate) little secret...the first chapter of my August book, Confessions of a Serial Dater, just went up on my website, here... Plus, I have a brand new contest here...

So back to the red tape...

Oh Patient One and I had to get a document notarized for Teenager #1's American college application. It's just one of those things you have to do when you are the parent of an overseas student.

But oh, no, we thought! Did this mean another trip to the American Embassy in Amsterdam? Because last time we went, this happened...

And then I had An Idea!

So I called the American college (after 3pm in the afternoon my time, because we're six hours ahead of New Jersey) and imagine my delight when the very nice administrator confirmed that the document could be notarized by a Dutch official.

Yay! Surely that meant we could get it done here in Rotterdam!

So while Oh Patient One was away with work in Spain or Germany or France or somewhere else in Europe, off I went to the Town Hall to check that we could do this. I got in line with the fifty billion other people there, and finally, when I got to the front and explained what I needed to the nice receptionist, and she called her supervisor to double check, the answer was yes!

Yay again!

So a few days later, when Oh Patient One returned, off we went to the Town Hall...

Oh, how naive were we to expect that it would be so easy? This is what happened next...

After another five billion hours standing in line at the Town Hall, we reach the front and explain to a different receptionist what we need.

Receptionist: "You cannot do this here. You need to go to the court."

Me: "But. But. I dropped in last week and your colleague told me we could do it here."

Receptionist: "She lied. Mwahahahaha. It's just a little joke we like to play on the hapless public."

No, the receptionist didn't actually say that, but let's just say that it became evident very quickly that we were not going to get anywhere.

Oh Patient One, in a very calm, laid-back kind of way: "Could you please tell us where we should go?"

So after the receptionist gave us the address (a metro ride under the river to the south island), and a telephone number, we took the precaution of calling the court to ensure that we had been given the right advice.

"Oh, yes," the nice lady on the other end of the phone tells me. "We can witness and stamp your document. No problem."

Yay!

So we catch the metro, find the court building, find the right department and...

Court Official: "I'm sorry, but before the court can verify your paperwork you need to get this signed by a Notary Public."

What?

Are you still with me, people? No, we didn't understand why we had to get the document witnessed by two separate official people, either, but there you go...

Us: "But. But. When we called, you told us we could just come right on over."

Court Official: "We lied. It's just a little joke we like to play on the hapless public. Mwahahahaha."

No, the court official didn't really say that. This is what really happened.

Court Official: "There is a Notary Public not very far away from here, would you like his address and phone number? Then you can get your document notarized and bring it back here for authorization."

Us: "Yes, please!" Because at this point we don't even want to know why we need two official signatures, we just want to get the document signed so we can go home.

So then we called the Notary Public's office just to double check that we had the right information. By now it is just after one in the afternoon.

Oh Patient One (on the phone): "Hi, we need to get a document notarized and we're in the area right now. Can you help us?"

Receptionist: "That's fine. We can do it for you."

Oh Patient One (grinning to me as he speaks): "Fantastic. Can you please give us directions?"

Within ten minutes we arrive at the office.

Oh Patient One: "Hi, I called you a few minutes ago. We're here to get this document notarized."

Receptionist: "Oh, yes. But the Notary is at lunch and won't be back until after two. I didn't tell you that when we spoke on the phone just now because I thought it would be fun to mess with your minds. It's just a little joke I like to play on the hapless public. Mwahahahaha."

No, she didn't really say that last bit.

But by this point getting the bloody document witnessed by whomever has to witness the bloody thing has become Our Mission In Life, and we are not going home until we have Overcome All Obstacles.

So, we went off for a coffee, got totally ignored by the waiter and ended up not getting coffee, and then after two we went back to the Notary's office, got the document signed, went back to the court and got it witnessed, then came home.

It had taken nearly four hours to get this done. It would have been quicker to go to Amsterdam, and at least the intercity service has coffee...

Michelle :-)

Posted by Michelle at 8:49 AM | Comments (2)

Comments

Posted by: Lani at June 2, 2005 10:27 PM

Posted by: Michelle C at June 3, 2005 3:34 AM